Now, I haven’t seen Snakes on a Plane, but I do appreciate the clarity and imagery provided by its truly unique title. I was also quite fascinated to hear about all the media attention the movie was getting when I was home last summer. But that was back when we all thought it was an original idea. Now we know the truth. This kind of stuff actually happens in The Philippines, at the Manila airport, where, on Wednesday, more than 130 reptiles were confiscated after attempting to board a flight to Bangkok:
“Dozens of lizards, wearing diapers to conceal the stench of their urine, and 60 snakes concealed in water bottles, were discovered Tuesday inside two suitcases belonging to a Filipino woman, airport officials said.”
I think the key phrase for me is “wearing diapers to conceal the stench of their urine.” As far as I’m concerned, this is someone who’s really thought through the process of attempting to smuggle reptiles on a plane. This person is officially (at least, “officially” according to me) a professional reptile-plane-smuggler. I mean: what kind of diapers do lizards wear? How did this person come up with this idea? How did she successfully force all those lizards to wear the diapers? How were they supposed to get through the x-ray in the first place?
I wonder how surprised the woman was to get caught. I’m imagining her look of utter shock and disbelief that the reptiles didn’t actually make it on the plane: How ever did they figure it out? I put the diapers on and everything! They couldn’t have found them by smell! This was a fool-proof plan!