I like to think of myself as not “typically” vain (i.e. not vain about my appearance). In all honestly, it’s mostly because I’m quite lazy:
I always choose clothes for comfort over style (in fact, I don’t own a single button-down shirt, because it’s too much trouble to actually button them, and I certainly never tuck anything in, or wear skirts); I don’t worry about bad haircuts (the most recent of which was last month, and I might officially say that it was the worst haircut I’ve ever had) because I know it will always grow out; I haven’t worn any make-up since high school (with one or two very specific exceptions: my own wedding, other people’s weddings and halloween);
(so vain about my wedding that I can’t resist including a picture)
I have never in my life blow-dried my hair (although, when I was a cheerleader in high school (boy, I wish I had a picture of those days here in KL!), I occasionally curled it with a curling iron); I have never worn high-heels (well, one time, when I was an intern at the UNPO in Washington, DC, I wore these great high heels on the day we were campaigning on the Hill. I was able to walk over to the senate building, but by the time we were walking back to the office, which is right across the street, I had to actually remove my shoes and walk in my stockings (oh my! I guess that was the last time I wore stockings too!) because I could no longer stand the pain), I even wore flip-flops at my own wedding;
and I’ve long since given up on contact lenses in favor of glasses (not that glasses can’t be cool or trendy, and I quite like mine).
But, I do think I’m vain about other things. Mostly about being smart and traveling/living abroad.
I’ll start with smarts: I feel very fortunate to be in a career which encourages constant development and continued education since these are the things I value most highly. I like to be the person that is always “taking another class” or “busy with reading.” I am truly enjoying my professional blogging and spending all my free time reading what other educators have to say about technology. I always say I want to write a book, or at least publish a few articles. I’m constantly sending out e-mails to my colleagues sharing what I have set up to help them integrate technology (most recently I’ve compiled a massive wiki with tons of links to resources I’ve found for each subject area). I like to be the one in my department that’s always coming up with new ideas and implementing them with like-minded teachers. I like to pass on interesting opportunities to students and colleagues, and definitely share new tools I find with my headmaster and principal. I love being a tech geek, and I love it even more when other people appreciate that about me.
In terms of traveling, I love living abroad. I love the fact that I can move to any country in the world every two years and still get to do the same job and earn around the same salary. I love the experiences I have every single day living in another country. I love the challenges and the struggles. For some reason, I feel like I need these struggles to keep life interesting. Maybe that’s because I’m not interesting enough on my own, or maybe it’s because I’m easily bored. But, it’s definitely something that I think makes me interesting (which also happens to make me vain). I like having something special about myself, that in reality, in day-to-day life, isn’t actually all that special. My life in KL is pretty similar to what my life would be like in the US, except for the fact that it’s pretty normal for me to be going to Bali next week, Vietnam at Christmas, and Thailand in April. I happen to think that’s pretty cool.
In what ways are you vain?
As soon as I finish my Self-Portrait Challenge for the week, I start to think about what I will do for the next week. I plan the shot and think about what I will write. I let it all stew for a few days and by Sunday, I try my best to make my vision come to life. Why the hell am I telling you this? Well I have been thinking about vanity all week, so I thought it was eerie to read your blog about vanity, just a few hours before I was going to produce my portrait. Anyway, if you want to know in what ways I am vain check out my latest portrait.
Nice post by the way.
Hmm, good question. I definitely do have some vanity about my looks although it varies a great deal depending on where I live — I think southern California (where I am now) brings that part out. But I too rarely wear makeup and almost never do my hair. I think my main vanity is probably about my taste in the arts and media — like what tv shows I watch, movies I appreciate, art, architecture, etc. I like to be up on the newest trends in art and the hot artists/directors and so forth.
By the way, love your wedding photo. Can I borrow it and claim that it’s me?
I think I’m also vain about cultural things as well, now that you mention it. I find myself often reflecting on my time in Germany and Italy and missing the cultural aspect of life in Europe here in Asia… And I definitely do think vanity can be influenced by your surroundings. I can imagine living in California might make you focus on appearance, while living in New York might make you focus on something entirely different.
Thanks for the compliment about the wedding photo (of course, that’s really why I put it up there in the first place – isn’t it just too obnoxious). You will have even more beautiful photos from your wedding day
What an interesting post – now you have made me think! Why oh why? I haven’t had to think since I gave up teaching
I am incredibly vain about my hair. Since it is an afroball of puffiness without some sort of styling, there is no way in hell you would catch me in public without leave-in conditioner and a generous amount of hair product. Is that vanity or me being super paranoid about looking like a 70’s disco queen?
It also really matters to me what other people think of me. Not in an obsessive single-white-female way but I do like to know if people respect me, think I’m intelligent, find me friendly, etc.
I also did a Meyers-Briggs course once and it kept saying that I think I will be judged by the way my immediate surroundings look and how those close to me behave. Now you know why my classroom is immaculate and why I don’t allow my husband to socialise with any of my friends
I feel exactly the same as you do here, Mel:
“It also really matters to me what other people think of me. Not in an obsessive single-white-female way but I do like to know if people respect me, think I’m intelligent, find me friendly, etc.”
I honestly wish I didn’t, and I try to stop myself when I start thinking like this, but I can’t help it. I know it really doesn’t matter. But it’s so hard not to hope/wonder/care what people think about me. I am especially sensitive to what people think of me professionally. I’m quite a bit more confident on the personal side (perhaps I shouldn’t be, but I don’t worry about that quite as much – I guess I feel like I can pick and choose my friends, but I can’t always pick and choose who I work with, so that’s a tougher audience).
Vanity, the root of all of our sins. And how can it not be, it’s start from the time we are born. “What a beautiful baby.” We value beauty in everything. When we travel, we are visiting beautiful places. We adjust are scale to our liking, but we are in essence searching for beauty. Where this takes a turn for sinful is when it becomes our sole focus for ourselves. We all want to be “beautiful” to our friends and loved ones, whether that is through our intellect, our stories, our laughter. But unfortunately, for women in the world an unfair expectation has been put on us since birth. We are to be beautiful to look at. And here comes the vanity. Why does it matter what a 2 year old girl wears? Why does it matter if a two year old girl’s hair is in her face? I don’t care. Let her live a few years outside the expectation. But people really do care. “How come you don’t dress her in dresses?”, “Her hair is in her face, she needs a barrette.” From the time we are born, women are crafted for a life of vanity. So that we all feel that we have to look extra special on our wedding day. So that we flaunt our other assets to overshadow our perceived deficits.
I am totally victim to this. I have bad skin color in the winter so I have to wear blush. These pants make me look fat. I hate the veins in my legs. I wish I went to a more elite university so that I would appear smart right off the bat. I wish I had a more interesting profession rather than a noble profession.
Couldn’t we go on and on revealing are perceived negatives, which reveals our vanity? But if we were asked to tell our positives, we would hesitate because that would be vain.
You know, I think that’s why I love job interviews. I get the chance to say all the wonderful things I think about myself without feeling like I’m bragging. And, in addition to me telling, the person listening has to be interested, asking insightful questions and making connections to this new possible environment I might be working/living in….
But, I do notice that I am “promoting” myself more at work lately. I don’t like to do it, because it is vain, but I feel almost like I have to. Sending out mass e-mails sharing my ideas, promoting my wikispace, sharing my successes in faculty meetings. All of these things make me very uncomfortable, especially because I know other people are thinking “who is she to think she’s so special? What’s so great about her work?” It is because we’re trained to keep quiet about our stregths and achievements except in specific socially acceptable situations.
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